No Small Acts of Kindness..................

I am way ahead of myself relative to the last few weeks but this is important - at least I think so. First I am grateful for 30 font. This is my first attempt at typing since the vision thing. Oh, also grateful for that high school typing class and remembering how. Sorry no photos, That stupid almost blind thing.

I had an emergency appointment with my ocular oncologist on Thursday November 21 regarding my vision. After the appointment I had to get bloodwork done ASAP for my follow up with the Dr. on Monday. I called 3 different Quest labs on our way home. No appointments available until Wednesday. I would have to do walk in which is awful at Quest.

Mela dropped me off just before 4pm. Only one other customer - an angel really waiting.I thought piece of cake, Between the gel on my eye from the ultrasound and being dilated I could not seen anything and I humbly asked for help checking in on the touchscreen. No sense of annoyance or skepticism he just helped. So grateful. But now for the rest of the story. Who is old enough to remember that?

I will only allow a sentence or two of how thoughtless and insensitive the lab tech was to give context to my angel. She came to the front area ranting she could not do any more walk ins. I tried to explain my situation for the need of emergency bloodwork for my cancer treatment and had tried to call for an appointment, She could not care less. In her possible defense she was carrying on about can’t do ovetime and getting in trouble with her boss.So I am not sure if it was all on her or management is so bad employees are too scared to do the right thing. Sorry too long.

In short she said she could only take one of us.I do not know how long the young man had been waiting but he said without hesitation - Take him. I was stunned but muttered a thank you and with a fist bump he was gone. I do not know who he was and never wil. But perhaps that is the beauty of it…………

Be Kind, Be Humble, Stay Strong, God Bless!

The Eyerony of it all.................

About 6 1/2 years ago, I was diagnosed with ocular melanoma and had my left eye removed along with a cancerous tumor attached to it. The cancer has come back and is in my liver, and ironically, the very drugs intended to stabilize, if not kill the cancer are impacting my vision in my remaining eye.

First Treatment in the Books,,,,,,,,,

Before I begin. My musings are I suppose first and foremost  very affordable therapy but I hope you find something in them. I attempt to make them about family, friends, faith, fight, food, friends, fun and in being consistent f@#kcancer.

First I confess. I lied. Thursday November 7, the day of my first cancer treatment I went back to Johnny’s Doughnuts. Vanilla glazed old fashioned and a capuccino. No regrets. No apologies. But let me explain. Mela and I got back from vacation at around 9pm Wednesday evening but midnight body clock time (with time difference) and were up at 3:15am to head to SF for bloodwork, EKG, oncology appointment, two infusions and another EKG.

How did we get there? Almost two months ago we booked a vacation at an all inclusive resort in Playa Del Carmen. Spent too much time on whether or not we should get travel insurance. I said forget it- what could possibly  come up? Duh! Cancer! Two weeks before the trip was a whirlwind of biopsies, MRIs CT Scans, countless bloodwork (you would have thought I was a heroin addict looking at my arm). We were able to go on vacation and my treatment would start November 7 or 8. (Turns out it had to be the 7  since that was day 28 from my day of consent. I am in a clinical trial. Essentially a lab rat. I hear you - we have known that for years Nick.) It was a relaxing and much needed vacation before beginning the remainder of my journey.

Enjoying the Beach

During our time away we received  a text that my appointment would be at 8:30am on November 7. We thougth that is early but OK. To speed this up a bit - we received another text that I needed blood work first and had to be there at 7:00 am. Wednesday November 6 we were able to have one last wonderful breakfast on the rooftop garden - but lunch consisted of a bag of Wheatchex from the airport and 3 pieces of raisin toast when we got home. Then to SF before dawn. If you are still reading - that is why I had my doughnut.

My airline reading book is an easy read by James Patterson - Circle of Death. Maybe not the best choice to read during my infusion. I take that back. It is a superhero thriller of good vs evil.

Book of Choice?

My superheroes are the janitors, receptionists, security guards, nurses, doctors, lab technicians and others that have been so kind every single time I have walked through  those hospital and medical office doors. And of course  the millions like me - that wake up every day and do their damnedest to hold their head hight fight the evil within and be a living testament to the joy life holds to those around them.

First Treatment

Then of couse there has to be a villain. He simply goes by M. AKA metastatic  melanoma. My heroes have developed a concoction in their lab that will seek to stabilize and destory M. But it appears it may be a life long journey. I will receive an infusion every three weeks for the rest of my life along with countless bloodwork and MRI to be certain it has not spread.

In addition to the aforementioned doughnut we had time for lunch. I am a creature of habit and it had been a long couple of days so did not want any surprises. A lobster roll and clam chowder it was. Did not disappoint.

Clam Chowder, Lobster Rolls and Artichoke Bread and Support of my bride, Mela

In closing I am glad to say the drugs have not had any of their potential side affects as of Friday morning such as vomiting, headaches. joint aches, nausea, diarrhea, blurred vision (hopefully only impacting my left eye) etc etc.

While the last month has been a little crazy I am so grateful for the care and will be on a slightly more structured schedule  moving forward. Stay tuned….

God Bless, Stay Strong, Be Humble, Be Kind!

Filmore Street Eats

We left Dr Kims’s office on Tuesday 22nd to see him again on Thursday 24th at 2:30 pm and receive my first cancer treatment. (Did you really think I would jump straight  to the food?) We might have stayed over another night with the kids but we had tickets to see ELO at the Golden One Center  Wednesday night. Great Concert. We splurged for floor seats. Well worth it.

Great Time at the ELO Concert

I foolishly thought we can still get a decent night’s sleep before our trip back to the city. I received a mid-afternoon call from Alya, my ‘cancer concierge’. She is highly educated and one of the kindest, most patient people I have ever met. Not sure of her official title but oh so grateful for her. The point is I had to get yet more lab work done prior to my cancer treatment so we headed out early Thursday morning. Nothing quite like Dr appointments the day after attending a rock concert to make you feel old.

11:30am and lab work is done. Time for lunch and for Mela to wander thru the countless shops while I wait outside in the sun with hat in hand. One more thing before all that great food.  Mela and I went to see Dr. Kim for my 2:30 appointment. He described the medication and process for the infusion treatment but insurance said I was out of network. Gut Punch. We went home with head hung low  and figured in the next week or so I would hear from any attempt at appeal. I will speed this  up a bit. I got a call Friday afternoon. I will be covered. Tears of joy!

OK. Finally food. The medical center where I see my oncologist  is at Webster and Clay. One block from Filmore St. A mini-mecca of food and shopping. Our first lunch after appointments on Tuesday was the Taco Bar, Johnny’s Donuts and Salt & Straw Ice Cream.

My bride, Mela, at the Taco Bar

The Taco Bar is a quite casual establishment. You order your food at the counter and they bring it to your table. I ordered one steak taco, one grilled shrimp taco and Mela ordered one grilled shrimp taco as well and one fried fish taco - and we shared a side of guacamole  and chips. All Delicious. The steak, fish and shrimp were all seasoned nicely and perfectly cooked. The tacos were street style tacos and generously filled. We both love guacamole and thought theirs was excellent.

Just Before Entering Donut Bliss

Johnny’s Donuts - I honestly never eat donuts from your normal donuts shop. Probably at least a decade. It’s not that I don’t like the idea of a glazed old fashioned but they don’t like me.  Johnny’s is another whole level. They are so good but a tad expensive for a donut. So worth it. Mela and I each got one but she saved hers for the drive home.

This is actually a kid’s cone!

As if that is not enough. Time for ice cream. In my defense - I did have to fast and had no breakfast. Salt and Straw Ice Cream. I got the chocolate  gooey brownie. The flavor, the creaminess. Ice cream nirvana.That said - not sure I am an over all fan. They only have maybe 12 flavors - which is fine. But half of them are really weird. Like pear and blue cheese or olive oil  and basil. Not my cup of tea. We did go back on Thursday and after trying two other flavors I went back to the chocolate.

This will conclude a modest attempt at reviewing sweet treats in that I will be eliminating sugar and alcohol for at least 3 months of my treatment so they can get a good sense of it working. Apparently very moderate alcohol is Ok after that.

Lobster Roll. Soooooo Good

But I can eat more lobster rolls. The Woodhouse Fish Co. Yummy. I ordered a cup of the clam chowder, warm lobster roll with butter and an Arnold Palmer. Mela ordered the fennel salad and the cold lobster roll with mayo and celery. All so good. Well I have to assume Mela liked her roll since I never got a bite. The lobster was served on a perfectly toasted classic lobster roll bun. That will not  be my last lobster roll but might have to try the crab cakes next time - or maybe both

Gob Bless, Stay Strong, Be Humble!

Not One Ocologist, But Two

To recap:

I lost my left eye to ocular melanoma just over six years ago. It is a metastatic cancer. It likes the liver and the lungs if it returns. To date, the only real side affect for the last six years had been a terrible case of drivers tourettes syndrome.

Anyway,  during the first four years I got two MRI’s, bloodwork and a chest X-Ray. Year five, my oncolgist, Dr. Tony Tsai, felt that we could bring it down to one ultrasound. So far, so good. Year six ultrasound. Not so good. There is a lesion on my liver. It is metastatic cancer of the liver.

Current Affairs - Dr. Tony Tsai referred me to another oncologist. Dr Kevin Kim, perhaps the best oncologist  in the country for this type of cancer. As a side note but critically important. I think oncologists can easily be categorized  as direct and clinical. Which is in part true. But there is not a soft way to say - You have cancer. In my limited experiecne (I wish I had none) I find them to be some of the most passionate and compassionate medical professionals in the field. They are with you for the long haul - and we don’t all make it.

The last few weeks have been something else.

Mela and I drove to San Francisco on Sunday the 13th and stayed with our kids  for an early morning liver biopsy on the 14th. Medical tidbit. While you are only sedated for the biopsy and I felt fine - you need to stay for four hours of bedrest becasue it may bleed. Very long day. Followed by a up and back to San Francisco on Friday the 18th for lab work.

Monday the 21st,  We drove back to San Francisco for an early morning MRI and CT scan on Tuesday - and a 2 PM with my oncologist.  Between the CT scan and the 2 PM we ate our way up and down Fillmore Street at the Taco Bar, Johnny’s Donuts and Salt and Straw for ice cream. The Filmore St. Eats Blog is coming. Wait to read about the Lobster Rolls. Catchier title than Lunch amidst oncologq visits.

Dr. Kim had the MRI and CT scan results for our appointment and the cancer has not spread anywhere which is great news! The lesion - the size of my pinky nail - has not grown at all in the last six weeks. More good news! I take what I can get.

Again,  we are very grateful we have perhaps the top oncologist in the country two hours from our home and kids have a beautiful home in San Francisco where we can stay that is only 10 minutes from the hospital.

Gratitude and perspective change in the blink of an eye. Mela and I have a vacation next week and will start treatment after that. Very grateful for my loving wife, Mela, my Life Group and all the friends, family and prayers in the last few weeks.

God Bless, Stay Strong, Be Kind

Jesus Take the Wheel

Four trips to DMV and two trips to my ophthamologist to finally renew my license and get the Real ID. Wait, first things first. It has been 6 year cancer free. Well almost. The time of my diagnosis is around Mela’s birthday and the Masters so I am getting a jump on things.

What is it about a government employee with a clipboard getting in the car with you to determin your freedom that turns a 60 something into a quivering 5 year old with his hand in the cookie jar?

Four years ago when I had to renew my license, I had had the surgery to remove my eye and the cancerous tumor that decided to attach itself to the eye. I was able to renew by mail and chose to do so.

Fast forward four years and I had to go to DMV in order to renew. I figured I may as well get the Real ID. I essentially did it online. Easy enough. That is where easy ended. Then four trips to DMV and 2 to the opthamologist. I won’t bore you with the details.

The fourth and final trip to DMV was for my vision driving test. Prior to the date found myself listening to Carrie Underwoods Co.untry Music station on Sirius XM and for the first time heard her song - Jesus Take the Wheel. The title seemed a rather apt metaphor for my upcoming test if not my life.

That Janary 4, I had scheduled the test for 8:45 am. Kids would be in school, most commute traffic would be done and that afternoon winter sun would not be blinding me (no pun intended). I went to Window 15 and tried to resurrect some of my lobbying skills as I chatted with the DMV employee. Seemed like a nice guy. He said it would probably be him but someone would be out and I should wait by my car.

About fifteen minutes later he came out. Thank goodness. A modest rapport had been developed. Time for the vision driving test. The difference between the regualr driving test and regular driving test. First, only some DMV employees do the vision driving test. Maybe they get hazard pay for driving with  the blind. Anyway, the driving course is about twice as long and the judge if you can see and second part is basic driving skills.I PASSED.

Over the last six years I had been getting two MRIs a year to see if the cancer came back. It typically goes to the liver and lungs and there is no statistical survival rate. Glad to be here.

Years 4 and 5 are apparently the high odd years for it returning. I remember asking my oncologist if it continues to get worse - ie years 6,7 8 etc. He said Nick, if you wake up - enjoy the day! I can not I have always done that but not bad advice regardless of your circumstantces.

Be kind, Be Strong, Be Humble & God Bless!

Loss.........

Nothing new. Millions before me and millions to follow. The loss of a parent. It is hard and it hurts. So deeply. My dad passed a little over 12 years ago. I miss him every day. But this past Monday, May 1, my mom passed away peacefully at the age of 90. As many know, the sense of loss and grief is palpable.  But for me there was also - the stark realization that you are now “that generation”…………. Once again I get ahead of myself.

Three Generations: Mom, Nicole, Niko

The morning of Sunday, April 30, my mom did not answer the phone or call back my sister, Suzanne or I. We decided to meet at mom’s house. About a half hour drive or so for each of us. I arrived first. I called Suzanne. Only a few minutes out so I waited - being the chicken that I am. We found mom sitting on the edge of her bed with walker in hand. After talking briefly we called the paramedics.

The next five hours were in the ER while they conducted numerous tests on our mom. Finally admitted to a hospital room we spent the next hour or two (it becomes such a blur) until she was settled and the nurses had the information they needed.

In the early AM, Suzanne received a call from the Dr that things did not look good and mom was placed on comforrt care. I started to let close friends and family know. I called my daughter Nicole and let her know. Through our respective tears she said she was on her way. I said it was not necessary but there was no deterring her. She lives in LA. For once I am glad she did not listen to dad.

I prayed she would get time with Grammy. Nicole, her husband Dwight, their 6 year old daughter, Niko and their puppy Benny arrived at the hospital at 6 PM. I met them in the lobby. The hospital has a ‘No children under 12 allowed policy’. My long ago lobbying skills were not lost. Me, Nicole and Niko went to see Grammy. Dwight stayed with the puppy. After a few minutes I went down and relieved Dwight so he could see my Mom and Mela arrived. We went  back up.

Nicole has the heart and touch of an angel. By profession she is a cosmetologist. She dampened a clean wash cloth and ever so gently washed mom’s face. (Tears as I write this) She then applied vaseline to her eyed lids and lips with such a soft touch. And then sat quitely with Grammy while holding her hand.

Mom passed away Monday, May 1 at about 7:30 PM with the SF Giants game on and Nicole by her side. 90 precious minutes together .

Tuesday morning the smell of bacon and eggs filled the house as Dwight kindly fixed breakfast while Niko ran about and  Lila and Benny played and barked. Never have I been so grateful for the chaos of family.

Mid-afternoon our other daughter Gina and husband, Steven arrived from SF with ingredients for margaritas at Nicole’s request. Mela arrived home and Nicole made margaritas while dinner was prepared.Red wine, lasagna, french bread, salad, toasts to Grammy, laughter and barking dogs rounded out our dinner. My gratitude is immeasurable.

Wednesday the kids took their time but had to be on their way back to LA. I was left to my own devices that afternoon - never a good thing. So grateful for life group that evening - and for all the calls, texts and emails i received over the last few days.

She was a good mom. As a friend of nearly 50 years so eloquently told me she was good mom if for no other reason than putting up with your “sorry ass” for 63 years. I miss you and love you mom.

Be Kind, Be Humble, Be Strong. God Bless!

Bourbon, Horses and a Wedding…….

This past week, Mela and I were in Lexington, Kentucky.  Our daughter, Gina was the Maid of Honor for Lauren’s wedding and our other daugnter, Nicole, a cosemtologist in LA did Lauren’s hair.

It would be a misrepresentation if I were to say Kentucky was on my short list of places to visit. Shame on me. If you love your bourbon and horses it is well worth at least a long weekend in Lexington. Of course there are numerous other places and activities during your visit as well as a number of excellent restaurants - to soak up the bourbon. Mela and I thoroughly enjoyed ourselves during our visit.

Mela has watched Gina’s close group knit of friends grow-up for just shy of the last 20 years. I had no doubts but it has been good to see that Nicole has been warmly welcomed in to this sisterhood over the last ten years. Still not sure if there is a pledge or oath but Nicole would not say anyway. Perhaps all for the best.

The bond and friendship amongst these girls - now women runs deep. They are fierecely loyal. I am quite certain that should a distress signal ever arise they will all be there in a moments notice to help their friend - no matter how near or far.

Before we get to bourbon and hosres, the wedding held at the Castle & Key Distillery was beautiful. The grounds were amazing. Lauren, the bride was absolutely gorgeous and Chase, the groom looked good as well. It was a magical evening of good food, good drink, laughter, dance and celebration.

The Newly Minted Mr & Mrs

The Family

Having arrived late Wednesday, Thursday was time for lunch and to go bourbon tasting. The drive to the distillery was breathtaking. Miles & miles of stately homes situated on 50 plus acre parcels that were perfectly fenced and manicured for their horses. Kentucky bluegrass really does mean something.

We only had time for one distillery, Woodford Reserve,  but there are countless ones to visit. Just like wine tasting in California. Perhaps a bit more like foothill wineries such as El Dorado and Amador county rather than Napa. The distilleries are not on top of each other.

My Bourbon Flight

Lunch was at Wallace Station. Seemingly in the middle of nowhere but the little place was packed. Came to find out it was on Diner’s, Drive-in’s and Dives. The chili which had bourbon in the recipe and was excellent. I felt the cornbread could have used some butter and honey. Over the couple of days I discovered that there is not too many recipes that can’t include bourbon - whether it be chili, a craft beer, salsa or buttercream frosting. Like cooking with wine I guess.

We headed back early so we could get ready for the cocktail reception for the bride and groom. It was great to see and meet many of the people prior to the big day. A nice evening. Capped off with a bourbon from Buffalo Trace Distillery with the bride’s parents.

Friday. The bride and groom had arranged ground transportation out Keeneland which was most kind.Time for the ponies. What maginificent animals. So much fun. And I even won a little. Mostly bet on the favorites. The venue was amazing albeit crowded for this one-eyed claustrophobe. A great time was had by all.  That evening Mela and I celebrated her birthday with a nice dinner at a local Italian restaurant  while the wedding party had their rehearsal dinner at a nearby steakhouse.

Opening Day 2023 at Keeneland

Saturday was the big day and a wonderful way to wrap up our visit to Lexington. On the flight home Easter Sunday I watched John Rahm win the Masters Golf Championship. A very, very good long weekend.

I wish nothing but the best for Lauren and Chase as they embark on the next chapter of their life. Congratulations.

Be Kind, Be Humble, Be Strong. God Bless!

Moments that Matter.....

I am curious. At the risk of dating myself - Have Kodak Moments become I Phone Moments? Of little consequence I suppose. Other than the fact that I am a analog guy living in a digital world.

Friday, March 31, 2023 was a good day. Nothing I did mind you. But a good day. Actually a great day. A day of accomplishment and celebration. A birthday and a promotion.

My oldest, John Holcomb, a Major in the United States Army received word of his promotion to Lieutenant Colonel. Words fail to describe how proud of him I am as a son, brother, friend, father to his two young boys, husband and his service to our country.  I also know that he gives all due credit to his loving wife, Sarah who has been with him every step of the journey as well to those with which he has served. I hope this weekend for him was full of joy and celebration acknowledging all of his work and dedication. I wish nothing but the best for him and family in this and all chapters of their life.

The photo is actually a little over 5 years old from when he was promoted to Major and they were stationed in Monterey.

I am sandwiched between the two life events. The next is a birthday. But not any birthday. But that of a centurion. 100 years old. Aunt Palma turned 100 on March 29 and was celebrated on March 31 with friends and family at a local restaurant. Italian of course.

She has all of her faculties and is quite the character. She could teach a masters class on mindset. Every day is a good day and tomorrow doesn’t matter.  Did I say she hitchhikes? Yes she walks most every where or hitchikes from her home in Cameron Park

Late last year I drove her to two separate doctor appointments. One at the Kaiser in Roseville. One at the Kaiser in Folsom.  First she has a very distinct voice. Not once but on both occasions someone heard her and said - Hey you were hitchiking and I gave you a ride.

The stories she shard while driving her…….The MRI or more precisely the failed MRI is a sitcom in and of itself.

Cheers to John and Aunt Palma.

Be Kind, Be Strong, Be Humble and God Bless!

Five Years & Still Kickin'......

Who doesn’t like a good anniversary?

Five years ago I was diagnosed with ocular melanoma. Surgery took my left eye and the nickel sized tumor that was attached. A twisted version of   Luck of the Irish. Six in a million. Anyway - still here. Technically, the anniversary is April 5 but I will be on a plane so in my own sense of optimism I figured I am good for a couple of weeks and got an early start.

The last picture taken of me with my own two eyes!

Five Years. Time flies. But I guess that only makes sense. I missed half of it. Several big anniversaries this year. Me - Five years cancer free. It likes the liver and the lungs if it comes back. Two MRI’s a year for the last four years but only one this year. This claustrophobe is glad for that. Back to the good news. Anniversaries. Mela will be 10 years cancer free this August. She has survived and thrived from Stage 3 Colorectal Cancer though it still has its own way of rearing its ugly head. Leave it at that.

Now the big one - Our 10 year wedding anniversary is August 11 if you wish to send gifts. It is a second marriage for both of us so we are thinking about counting double for anniversaries putting us at 20.  At our age it is the only way we get to a respectable number.

So much has happened in the last five years. The pandemic thing. How that was handled will be countless case studies for public administration students for decades to come. Better News - Three weddings.  My middle son Kyle got married to his sweethear Val in 2019 in Flaggstaff, Arizona and they now have a beautiful daughter, Anya.  Our two daughters, Nicole and Gina also were married. Two great guys - Steven and Dwight.

Gina and Steven had a beautiful affair in Calistoga and Nicole and Dwight had a intimate but beautiful wedding on Maui. They were married in September and November of 2021 respectively. Nicole’s original wedding date of 10/10/20 was delayed to Covid. Side note - Apparently 10/10/20 was the biggest date for weddings in 2020.

Gina, Mela and Nicole on Gina’s big day!

Nicole, Dwight and their daughter Niko.

Kyle, Val and the Gang

Numerous birthdays including yours truly. A couple of trips to Disneyland with kids and grandkids. Wedding anniversary getaway to the Ritz Carlton property in Santa Barbara where my prosthetic eye came out in the pool. Fortunately, we found it quickly and a 8 year old with goggles kindly recovered it. So many life events that I am grateful for that I don’t need to bore you with. Amost forgot - Mela would never forgive me.  We have opened our own Real Estate company. Onyx Real Estate. We will have a storefront office in El Dorado Hills. It is located right next to the UPS store in the Raleys shopping center. We should be opened around the first of April. Please come by.

God Bless. Stay Strong. Be Kind.